A pre-baby body. Not mine. A hole in the yard in which to bury items of great shame. A gift card, but not to somewhere that also sells hair removal. A lack of male virility in the coming year. Fewer carcinogenic cleaning products and/or reasons/opportunities to clean things. No eye contact. Personal space. Time alone … Continue reading
Author Archives: regressiveparenting
Holiday Giving: Top 10 Gifts for the Working Mom
This time of year, there is no shortage of “What to Buy” lists floating around the Internet. And since we, too, love page-views, we’ve compiled one of our very own! Top 10 Gifts for the Working Mom 10. Bourbon. After a long day of “having it all,” what mom doesn’t want to relax and drink … Continue reading
You guys, there is no Black Friday in Canada.
You know why? We get Boxing Day. Remember? It’s the day after Christmas when you stand in line in stores you don’t usually go to and buy shit you don’t need (because Christmas was literally yesterday and you got a whole bunch of stuff just for showing up to that)? Black Friday is a made-up … Continue reading
While shit goes down in Texas, Regressive Parenting stands with Wendy
Maybe you’ve been following along with what’s going on in Texas tonight, and maybe you too drank a bottle of pinot grigio from the safety of your Canadian enclave and felt the righteous indignation and fear that comes from a bunch of fucking white men deciding who has the right to speak and who doesn’t. … Continue reading
Daddy issues.
When we talk about mothers, it is often in the context of not being—or feeling—good enough. Motherhood is sacrosanct, so you can do any number of things to fail. But when we talk about fathers, good enough is more than enough, and occasionally better than expected. This is because we can’t seem to get over the … Continue reading
I’ll drink to that.
It’s Friday, and the greatest day of all the days, because at the end of it there is hope—hope for enough sunny weather to have maybe a few meltdown-free visits to the park, or an un-whiny trip to Starbucks or the supermarket, and for maybe a wet kiss or two on the neck or the … Continue reading
How to cope when your child becomes a hipster.
I thought I could handle any type of teenage drama. I’d already done it all when I was in my teens… how could my kid surprise or shock me? I’d done drugs and drank alcohol. I’d cut my hair in all kinds of bizarre styles and dyed my hair every colour of the rainbow. I’d … Continue reading
Oh, just shut up.
Photo by: Ward Kadel (Concord, CA) The Problem with Married Couples Who Have No Kids: “A recent study shows that married couples without children are happier than those with, but selfishness will do that to you.” I feel like the “Oh, for fuck’s sake, who gave you a blog?” kind of says itself in this … Continue reading
On retro wives and lowering the bar.
An article from New York Magazine—titled The Retro Wife—popped up in my newsfeed today; it was about “feminists who are having it all—by choosing to stay home.” Its author, Lisa Miller, asks “what if a woman isn’t earning Facebook money but the salary of a social worker? Or what if her husband works 80 hours … Continue reading
If you don’t want kids you’re, like, totally selfish.
I really hate hearing and reading that people—especially women-people—who don’t want kids are selfish. The way I see it, you get maybe 80 years of life, give or take? You should spend that time doing whatever awesome shit makes you happy, whether that’s seeing everything in the whole world or being unstoppable at your career … Continue reading